Integrative Counselling, Psychotherapy, and Supervision, and Marriage, Couples, and Relationship Counselling and Mediation in Bexley, Bromley, Dartford, Bexleyheath, Belvedere, Erith, Sidcup, Welling, and Kent.
Care, Respect, Trust, Aspire
I am an experienced accredited counsellor/psychotherapist, blending different models of theory to develop a warm working relationship, either face to face or through online counselling. I work with individuals and couples from Bexley, Bromley, Dartford, Bexleyheath, Belvedere, Sidcup, Eltham, Erith, Welling and Kent, as well as online clients across the UK, with issues such as;
alcohol, drugs, and other addictions,,
couple, marriage, and other relationship issues,,
redundancy, loss, and other life changing circumstances,,
terminal illness and bereavement,,
depression, loneliness, post natal depression, anxiety, loss of confidence,,
trauma and abuse, physical and sexual,,
I offer online and telephone counselling in the UK and beyond where distance or other circumstances are an issue.
So what happens in counselling?
Counselling is about exploring your experiences, thoughts and feelings to help bring about a better understanding of yourself. It’s about exploring things from your perspective, what's going on, how you came to be that way, and how things could be different. Sometimes, just talking, putting thoughts and feelings into words, can change how we see things. In understanding the interactions in life or relationships, you can begin to see them differently, change them or deal with them better.
With couples, marriage, or relationship issues, it’s about each trying to understand the other, what you are each experiencing, what each of you want from the relationship and what may be missing. Relationships can be strained by work, kids, family and financial pressures that you have lost sight of the things that attracted you in the early days. What you each need to do to re-enforce and improve the connections to invigorate and re-vitalise your relationship.
Those four words at the top of the page, two for me and two for you, are the building blocks in our work. Care and respect is what I promise you, in all our work. All you have to do is trust and aspire to be different.
It can be quite daunting finding the right person to talk with, to share your thoughts and deep feelings? But have confidence, there is only my respect for what you are trying to achieve.
My counselling practiceAs an integrative counsellor I use different models of counselling in our work. Sessions can include exploring how the past affects the present, thought processes and how you see things and interpret them. Some clients explore dreams or nightmares, while couples explore the niggles that escalate and devastate their relationships. I work with your words, the tones in your voice, the pictures your words paint for me, and the times you are hard on yourself.
In working with individuals and couples, I deal with many of the problems that trouble us in life; bereavement, loss and change, difficulties in marriage, couple or other relationships, stress and anxiety in life and work, domestic abuse, drug or alcohol misuse or other addictions.
In working with alcohol, drug or other addictions, we look at the effect the addiction is having on your life and relationships. We also explore what may have happened in your life that started or accelerated their use. We look at what they might have initially compensated for, but has slowly lead to more severe problems. It's about understanding the underlining issues, and hopefully working to reduce or minimise their effects.
With stress, depression, anxiety and abuse, we also explore the isolation and shame that can exist with these issues. We know how we should be, but why can’t we change, get over it, and make the changes work?
Working with bereavement and other loss, we explore the feelings, difficulties and other things we did not expect to feel. The importance of a loved one, or a career we were proud of. Of something we had that's no longer there.
As a couples or marriage counsellor, it's about working with two people and often two differing viewpoints, understanding perhaps how the dreams and expectations of the early years have been buried under disappointments, blame, and rows. 'We still love each other, but don't like each other' is a familiar starting point with couples.
A proportion of couples work does fail, usually because positions have reached breaking point and the conflict, pain, and weariness leaves no room for compromise and respect to bring about change. But many couples do work hard to turn things around to rediscover what they like in each other. It takes compromise, respect, and patience to bring about sustainable change and real improvement.
Supervision of Practice
I also offer integrative supervision to counsellors and students, as well as those practicing in other caring professions. Sessions can be flexible to fit around professional or other requirements. Please check out my supervision page or contact me if you would like any further details.
Skype and Telephone Counselling
I also offer online and telephone counselling in the UK and beyond where appropriate. Counselling through Skype replicates many facets of being together in the room, but with some subtle differences. I feel that Skype allows people with work or lifestyle pressures to maintain our working relationship, continuity and support. As in face to face counselling, Skype and phone sessions take place in an equally confidential and respectful setting.
I am committed to providing a safe, respectful, and confidential service where you set the pace. We look at the issues you bring and talk about the thoughts and feelings they bring out.
Location and feesMy counselling practice is in Bexley Village just up from the station. I’m at 4c Bexley High Street, Bexley, DA5 1AD, on the corner of Salisbury Road by Village Estates (click for map and street view). The entrance to 4c Bexley High Street is the green door around the corner from Village Estates, technically in Salisbury Road opposite Ferrari’s Restaurant. Free on-street parking is available locally.
It is within easy reach of Bromley, Dartford, Sidcup, Erith, Welling and Eltham, in fact anywhere in South East London and North West Kent served by the A2 and A20. Home appointments are available, in appropriate circumstances, and subject to distance. You can email me at [email protected], or phone/text on 07925 371012.
I see clients Monday to Thursday, daytime and evenings. Sessions are by appointment; they last an hour, and are £50 for individuals, £60 for couples. Payment is by cash or cheque at each appointment. Supervision sessions are £45. Counselling or supervision for trainees is £30 for day time sessions and £35 for evenings.
Forgiveness is a theme that frequently arises in therapy, with individuals as well as couples. Forgiveness is about seeing and experiencing the whole of the relationship, rather than just one aspect that’s currently in focus. In the pain and anger caused by one aspect of someone’s behaviour, it’s easy to forget their other qualities that matter in the relationship. It may also be difficult to let go of past instances that have shaped and damaged a relationship for years, or a partner’s relationship with addiction or other damaging behaviour.
Forgiveness can exist on several levels. ‘I’m sorry babe, it won’t happen again’ is something we have all heard and experienced. It may be genuine and sincere in the moment but do we end up feeling like doormats? I wonder how many times we go for the nuclear response when we are carried away on a wave of emotion, such as anger, disrespect, or rejection.
Forgiveness is about we manage a complex three way relationship. How we forgive ourselves, how we want to be forgiven by others, and how we forgive others. We often need forgiveness, from ourselves or from others, in order to be able to live with ourselves. We often need to forgive others so we are not trapped in the past.
Forgiveness is huge and complex, bigger than these few paragraphs. Often in relationships, we need to step back and see the whole person, not just the incident, and consider, ‘This is what we do and this is what it causes, how can we can be different to stop this from happening again?’